So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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