I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize