Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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