Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
