so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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