So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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