I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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