She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
