Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize