oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
