Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
