the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
