i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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