I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
