Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
