He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.