He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
