lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize