Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you didnt know i had herpes?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
