Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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