that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I deserve this hangover.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
