I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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