He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
