Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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