the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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