Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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