So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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