We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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