Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
