Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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