she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
