So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
