i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
