i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
