this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
