I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize