thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
