this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
