I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
