You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
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If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
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I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize