Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
