my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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