so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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