my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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