that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
