Got a toothbrush?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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