so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
