she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
