used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
