he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
