yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
