Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
