Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
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you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
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Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?