it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.