Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
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The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.