new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.