he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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