you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
